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'Don’t forget there’s still a simple, safe, sustainable way to be church in community' 

 
Renew Wellbeing is a Christian charity founded by Baptist pastor Ruth Rice which seeks to end isolation and help facilitate better mental health for all. It works in partnership with churches to offer quiet shared spaces where ‘it’s ok not be ok.’

Ruth recently sat down for a chat with fellow Baptist minister Shaun Lambert to share how these quiet shared spaces came about - and explain more about the impact they're having 

 

Ruth Rice


Shaun Lambert: Can you give an update on where you are as a charity, a sort of "Previously on Renew Wellbeing…"?
 
Ruth Rice: Sure. The first Renew Wellbeing space was set up not knowing it was going to be part of a movement at all. It was because I had a breakdown and needed a space where it was ok not to be ok…

The first one was here in Nottingham in 2015. New Life Baptist Church set up a space four days a week where it’s ok not to be ok, bring a hobby, share a hobby, any faith or none, no proselytising, prayer rhythms available to all if you want them.

And lots of people want to pray! We found that the most missional thing we’d ever done was open a prayer space...
 
And then partnering with mental health services in a way that was helping us to not over-offer – just to keep our offer very simple. We put the kettle on, put the activities out with no pressure, and prayer.

That took off and other churches wanted to have a go. I received some funding from Cinnamon Network and left the day job in 2017, setting up Renew Wellbeing as a charity that helps train churches to do something similar.

So, three principles:

  • be present, show up when you say you will,
  • be prayerful
  • and be in partnership

Which look different in different soil. When we reached the pandemic there were 50 centres and we thought, ‘this is amazing!'

Little did we know that wasn't the end of it: interestingly God had put something in our hands that was exactly what was needed. And putting all the training online when people had time to Zoom: even though it wasn’t ideal, the church had time to catch its breath and ask questions.

So, we’re at 250 plus centres now nationally. I would say interest is not as strong now as it was at a time when people had a hunger to learn new things and go on webinars. Once the church gets on with being busy again, mental health goes a little bit down the agenda.

So, to be honest we’re not doing anything different, Shaun… we are still doing the same thing. We are still helping churches to set up quiet shared spaces where it’s ok not to be ok. I think the pandemic helped people realise we are not ok, that lots of us are not ok. The normal state of affairs for some people became the state of affairs for all of us. And we understood for a while what it felt like, how much we needed each other, and how much we needed these sorts of spaces and rhythms.

I would say where we’re at now is saying, ‘Don’t forget there’s still a simple, safe, sustainable way to be church in community. And don’t forget you’re also human beings, and we’ve also been through a tough time… Don’t over-offer, but under-offer for a really long time for people who are isolated and anxious or just needing a place to belong.

So, yes that’s ‘previously on Renew Wellbeing!’

Renew W - Being Present
 
 
SL: You mentioned about being simple, safe, and sustainable - can you say a bit more about that?
 
RR: Simplicity being the key here… if you can recognize you’re also human and show up, share a hobby, put the kettle on and pray… pray in a simple way that people can join in, making prayer optional. Simple! It’s not easy but it’s simple. It means you don’t have to have any special qualifications to do this, except a pulse.

You don’t have to have more than two or three people to do this. You don’t even really need an indoor space. We have them in allotments, and all sorts of spaces. I mean they’re often in church buildings, but borrowed spaces are fine. It’s so simple there’s no group that couldn’t do this.

It’s safe because you’re not doing any counselling, prayer ministry, or one to one stuff. It’s probably the safest thing the church is offering. It seems to me very often we are over-offering. Personally, I didn’t feel at the time I had a bag of wellbeing to hand over the counter to somebody. I needed to learn for myself.

It’s sustainable if you make it simple and you make it safe. And if you put prayer and partnership alongside it… I think churches are really good at showing up, for a while… but to keep that going for somebody’s lifetime which is what some people need… The sustainability we found comes from this three-pronged approach which is not just show up and put the kettle on but also pray, which is the heartbeat of it… and then partnering with whoever will partner with you so you can signpost people on if they need more or you can ask for help if you need.

The other thing with simplicity, safety, sustainability is the ongoing help we offer as a charity - we will review what is happening with you every three months. We will connect you, network you with other centres. We don’t just start something spinning and then go on off and do another shiny thing.
 

RW Being Prayerful
 

SL: Is part of the safety as well having a partnership with a mental health professional?
 
RR: I say yes, but it’s very hard to get one at the moment. The heart is there to partner with voluntary organisations. But I think it’s going to be a while before we see that happening well. What keeps it safe is knowing what your boundaries are, knowing who to signpost to.


SL: There’s interesting research around friendship being the most important factor in wellbeing… is there anything you’ve picked up through what you offer that supports that – it’s almost like a friendship lab in your spaces?
 
RR: I think I’m only realising the beauty of a Renew Space by being in one myself. Yes, it is belonging and community and friendship… it’s also learned solitude. That’s not something that’s being taught anywhere else to the general public or in churches, I don’t think. You do have your social space, but you’ve also got your space to be quiet but not on your own.

So, people will report finding peace in a space where something about being in their own home is damaging them. It’s that Nouwen thing: the opposite of loneliness is not always community but sometimes solitude. So, learning how to be on your own is very important. The things we do in a Renew Space are exportable, you can take them home with you.
 
And I think that not becoming a dependency culture where we are completely reliant on the other to fix us, but leading each other into the presence of the God who is always present. It’s that Bonhoeffer thing where we come to each other through Christ.

We’re learning as we go along, because we are co-produced. At first, we thought we needed places of community, but what God was up to was drawing us into places of peace with him.

What I’ve been most humbled by is seeing the effect on churches, that they realised they didn’t know each other very well. They haven’t spent a lot of time in prayer by themselves.
 
Even if nobody comes from the community for a little while, and that’s often how groups start - just a few from church meet, and then they realise they love it and then it’s not difficult to invite people.

You’re not even going to a Renew Space to offload your stuff on someone else. Because we’re recognising we are all on our own journey with our mental health. So, what you are going to do is say, these are the things I’m struggling with so I’m going to get help with that, but these are the things that are working with me, and can I share them with you.

So, a strengths-based approach isn’t ignoring the fact that there are issues in our lives that our difficult, it is also knowing we are not defined them. The prayer rhythms enable you to not just obsess with the one thing that’s broken, when you feel like that, you’re a bit useless until you get fixed.

It’s just not true, joy and sorrow co-exist. Some people might not be ok for the rest of their life, but it does not mean they are without value, great value.
 

SL: When you say co-produced, what do you mean by that?
 
RL: In mental health speak it means creating a service together. Learning from one another.
 

RW Partnership


SL: What is the impact on the lives of people?
 
It’s been really interesting! We didn’t set out for results. But, it’s been amazing for me to watch. Churches who’ve done it for a while would say almost everyone who’s come to faith has come through the Renew Space. So then there becomes a need for a different way of gathering really.

We do have to think about how we do gatherings for people who can’t cope with lots of people, or lots of noise or fuss. We are finding different ways of gathering, which is a sort of church planting. And I’m being careful about that and handing it back to the denominations because Renew Wellbeing is not a church planting organisation. But God is up to something. And these units of community are needing to find ways of learning and gathering and being discipled as well.

There’s a softness and gentleness that comes over churches that stick to these rhythms and habits. There’s a much more relationship-based approach. The fixers have learnt to stop fixing. Church has become messier but more beautiful. I think we are on the cusp of seeing what effect these spaces are having on the church.  
 

SL: There’s some implied theology in all of this. I don’t know if you’ve had time to reflect on that?
 
RR: I’m literally just putting pen to paper… I’m just writing a new book. I’m looking at Jesus’ ways of wellbeing in John’s gospel. I’m concerned we’re sharing something that we’ve not tasted for ourselves.

It’s more ‘how then shall we live…’ The next generation, they get this - they are much more emotionally literate than we are, I’m fascinated by what it’s going to look like to be church as the next generation take it on.
 

SL: You’re talking about space where people can’t cope with noise, I am thinking about people with autism, especially girls and women who are majorly undiagnosed with this and struggle with traditional church. Is there a strand you could develop for them?
 
RR: Yes… I’m being cautious about anything that ends up losing the simplicity of what we do. We are doing Renew Children Youth & Family spaces. We’ve got Renew Spaces in prisons in the chaplaincy setting. There’ll always be a need for a space that isn’t about gathered worship, it’s just come and be human. And yes, we’ll pray, we can’t do without prayer.

I’m fascinated by people’s hunger for God but not in the boxes we carry Him in.
 

SL: What comes across with what you’re doing, Ruth, is that you notice things that the church doesn’t notice, or you notice people. It may be that you don’t need to change anything, it’s just that someone who is autistic may find it a very helpful space.
 
RR: I suppose for me, Shaun, where are those spaces of noticing? Because it’s not that we can’t all notice that, it’s just that we get a bit busy. I’m really heartened by people who read the book and say, ‘ah yes I can do this!’ It’s this heart and hunger for a deeper, more authentic way of being community together that is open to people to come.

We can say to people 'come and be at home with us', without the power dynamic of saying it’s our home and you can come and play on our terms. This is a shared space. Pubs have this in the bank, but without the alcohol and with the Holy Spirit you get this heartbeat back in the community. What we learnt in the pandemic is local is good, and it's good to know our neighbours.

My longing is for a space like this on every street corner, for every church to have something like this. My concern is that 250 spaces out of 50,200 churches ain’t very much.
 
Renew Wellbeing1

 
SL: It sounds as well that these spaces could be spaces of noticing, because it’s not about activism or doing, or I’m trying to get my agenda across. It sounds like you have lots of qualitative and quantitative data across that someone could really enjoy researching. I mean who else is doing this?
 
RR: It's so interesting you should say that Shaun, I am dong some qualitative research! For my new book I need to know wider than just my 600 people who get my weekly email. They replied quite quickly about whether these habits are leaking out into their lives.

And also, for leaders, because I’m really concerned about leaders and their emotional wellbeing, and whether this is a priority and whether they are present in these spaces. I’m trying to work out how to get this research much wider to the leaders who are not engaged with Renew and why aren’t they there?
 
I think there’s a lot of automatic thinking, not thinking outside the box, not listening to new ideas. And busyness that stops you being open…
 
When you ask what people are busy with… So, I was talking to a Vicar yesterday who has a Renew Space but rarely goes to it. His most busy stuff is difficult pastoral situations. One of the reasons I set up our first Renew Space was because we were awash with difficult pastoral situations that I couldn’t deal with my own; we needed to do that as community.

That’s why I thought I’d write about it… I’m fascinated by the economy of Jesus; it’s not efficient. What I’m writing about at the moment is the inefficiency of his ministry with the woman at the well - spending all this time with her.

Why would you do that?

Of course, he knew. We don’t know the economy of heaven. He said do this thing; and we should just do that thing. We’re still running after the wrong measures, that numbers are better, that more is better, and broken is not good and whole is about being well.

I don’t think that’s the way of the cross, and it's certainly not what I see in the life of the Jesus. I’m interested in this economy of the kingdom which is extravagant in love but empty of self.

And what we learn in our Renew Spaces, sitting wasting time, which is what it feels like, is that we are sometimes called to do nothing, to sit, to be, to be honest, to be vulnerable. It’s a beautiful, full emptiness.
 
 

Ruth Rice is director of Renew Wellbeing, a national charity helping churches set up wellbeing spaces. She is author of Slow Down , Show Up and Pray, The A-Z of Wellbeing and  5 Ways to Inner Wellbeing

Ruth’s journey to leading a charity includes lots of years as a primary school teacher and a decade leading a local Baptist church full time. It also includes her own mental and emotional health struggles which are at the heart of Renew Wellbeing’s simple, safe, sustainable call to all churches to prioritise the language and practices of shalom.


Shaun Lambert is a Baptist minister, writer, psychotherapist, and Honorary Mindfulness Chaplain at Scargill Movement



 




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Baptist Times, 14/09/2023
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